Pain.
I know it well. Physical and emotional pain ruled my life for several years.
The aches and pains that go along with my battle with
Candida; the emotional pain that goes along with being
childless.
I had almost gotten used to it. Almost.
But one day, that final straw flitted its way down onto my overburdened load, and I collapsed under the weight of it all.
I couldn't understand why God was doing this
to me.
I knew logically, that "...All things work to the good of those who love Him", but somewhere in the back of my mind was a little shadow of doubt that was convinced
He was out to get me.
Fighting through the grief of childlessness and a terrible illness had taken their toll on my spirit and I finally hit rock bottom. With nowhere else to turn, I cried out to my Father in heaven to deliver me from this turmoil.
As He was working to heal my finally-released-to-Him heart, I heard Him speak into my soul with such comfort and love this truth.
"I am giving you A Sweeter Gift."
How much more precious will my children be to me after years of waiting?
How much sweeter will those late night feedings be?
What joy I will feel with every contraction.
What pleasure I will take in every correction I will give to them as they grow.
What A Sweeter Gift my Father has prepared for me.
As Augustine wrote in his
Confessions, "
There is no pleasure at all in eating and drinking unless the pains of hunger and thirst go before."
Oh the things that I would have taken for granted before. All the joy and beautiful moments I would have missed in my haste.
Thank you loving Father for allowing me to thirst and hunger. Thank you for allowing me to know the depth of longing that makes the meeting all the richer. Thank you for granting me A Sweeter Gift than I could have ever imagined.
Are you waiting on A Sweeter Gift?
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