Day 39 - Happiness Guilt

Happiness guilt. I'm beginning to regard this as a real issue.

Friends all around me are suffering in one way or another, just like we all do. So when I feel happy or content even in the midst of my suffering, I feel really guilty.

Am I the only one?

How do we balance the desire to be happy with the desire to help others in their time of need? 

How do we keep the need to sympathize with others from "bringing us down"? 

How do we encourage others without coming across as insincere and "saccharin" sweet?

Having been on the other side of this, I know that I have probably made others feel happiness guilt.

I didn't want to hear that you were praying for me. I didn't want to hear that "God is in control". And I sure didn't want to hear about all the ideas you had for how to magically fix my situation.

That sounds really harsh, but it's the truth. 

You know what finally snapped me out of it?

God completely broke me down to nothing and I had nowhere else to turn but to Him.

Here is some advise, whether you want it or not. Don't make Him break you down. Turn to Him now and truly seek His face.

Read your Bible everyday and with fervor. If you don't feel confident to navigate the Bible on your own, find a guided study and follow along.

For example:


Write in the workbook that comes with it. Take notes, write down how you feel about what you are studying.

And pray. 

Seriously. Pray. Talk to God like He's your best friend and you need to vent. Tell Him how you feel and what you need. Let your emotions truly show. He knows them anyway, don't try to hide them.

Ask Him for guidance, and mean it. Be willing to take that guidance.

Let yourself be scared to be so vulnerable. Lay it all on the line and genuinely ask God to work in your life. Because you know what? He will.

I am thankful to have happiness guilt issues. It means that I am really happy for the first time in years.

I am thankful that God listened to my endless, whiny prayers and still loves me.

I am thankful that I have been through the these things that allow me to be a comfort to others.

Linking up with A Royal Daughter {Desire to Inspire}, join us!

What are you thankful for today?


  1. I went through that when both my parents passed away, where everyone tries to cheer you up and tell you that this is God's will, and that your parents are in a better place. Well they're not here and that's all that matters. I I know it's selfish, but at the time I didn't really care. In retrospect now I look back and it gives me a warm feeling to know that that many people cared enough about me to try. But being in that place, seeing it from the bottom looking up, I came to understand that if it wasn't for happy people there be nobody in a stable position to pull me up. You should only feel guilty about being happy if you're not sharing that happy with other people. Even if they don't want it to the moment or at least don't think they want it they will later, and a greater gift cannot be given to the suffering, even if it's not unwrapped for a few years.

    1. Thank you Sean. That gives such great insight. And you're right, it is so nice to remember how much others cared about you, even when you pushed them away.

      I will try to remember that and not let my happiness guilt get to me!

      Love you friend!

  2. It sounds like "happiness guilt" and "survivor's guilt" are dark siblings. There are always going to be people--emotional vampires--around that want you to be in a negative place so they can feed on that negativity and maybe feel better about the mess that is their own life. Short of a wooden stake to the heart, I would suggest remembering we are called to be "content" where we are. Hmmm. I'm sure we can all think of situations and circumstances that definitely do NOT inspire contentment so what are we to do? I recently found myself in just such a situation. I really wanted to just throw an old-fashioned kicking screaming floor fit more suitable to a four year old than a grown woman five decades older! Long story short is that sometimes a person has to realize THIS reality is fleeting and our contentment comes from our permanent reality as children of the King. So when you find yourself happy in the midst of trying times (or people) lift your hands and praise God because in that moment you are acknowledging your happiness and contentment in Him!

    So I too am thankful for my Abba Father (DADDY) that loves me enough to listen to my petty, self-centered, hurt prayers and GENTLY remind me of who and whose I am.

    I am thankful for those moments of incandescent happiness.

    I am thankful for the unfriend and delete buttons which are ever so much tidier than those wooden stakes!

    1. Ha! Wooden stakes indeed! I'm glad it hasn't come to that :-)

      You, of course, are right in everything you said. Thank you so much for sharing :-)


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